THINGS TO DO AFTER ORAL SURGERY

A list I compiled after having my wisdom teeth extracted.
  1. Ice your face
  2. Check your Instagram
  3. Ice your face some more
  4. Take a Vicodin
  5. Fall into a Vicodin-induced sleep
  6. Wake up confused and in a very awkward position
  7. Ice your face again
  8. Dream about a time when you had a normal face
  9. Freak out when you see your swollen Muppet face
  10. Ice your face some more
  11. Stare at your clock anxiously waiting until you can take another Vicodin
  12. Ice your face
  13. Check Instagram and look at all your friends with their normal faces
  14. Try to elicit some sympathy in hopes that someone will make you soup
  15. Freak out because you can take another Vicodin
  16. Fall into another Vicodin-induced dream world
  17. Wake up and get real sad when you remember your face looks like a half melted candle