📚 Fates and Furies, Week One: Characters Ranked by How Well Their Name Suits Them 📚

@BookClub sorry I'm a little late, but I'm ready now! My biggest takeaway -- after how much I love the book's plot and prose so much -- was how weird everyone's name is, so without further ado...
  1. 1.
    Mathilde
    Totally buy this name as a model-esque "ice queen." Better than Elsa, anyway...
  2. 2.
    Chollie
    A gross sounding name for a gross sounding person. 💯
  3. 3.
    Samuel
    Absolutely perfect for an old money, upper class young adult who gets a job in finance and (I'm speculating here) probably wears Sperry's as his off-the-clock shoe of choice.
  4. 4.
    Antoinette
    A name fit for a queen. Hilariously extravagant. Alright!
  5. 5.
    Denton
    His last name is Thrasher. For the man who sexually assaulted Lotto as a grieving and suicidal teenager, I'll allow it.
  6. 6.
    Bette
    The upstairs neighbor, a queen like Antoinette but let's regal, just like her name. All in for this choice.
  7. 7.
    Danica
    Obsessed with this name choice for a friend that's not super important but still hangs around, is friendly enough but doesn't leave the strongest impression.
  8. 8.
    Susannah
    For the graduate playing a teenager girl on a soap opera? Yep yep yep.
  9. 9.
    Michael
    The Asian boy who Gwennie liked and who liked Lotto... Forgettable name for forgettable character. Works.
  10. 10.
    Natalie
    Yeahhhhhhhh this is right for the fast fading friend.
  11. 11.
    Sallie
    Confused by how Gawain and Sallie came from the same parents. Cute, feels a little matronly, so I guess it works for me.
  12. 12.
    Gawain
    I mean... Sure? Kind of love this, kind of hate this, mostly just hate that I'm not totally sure how to pronounce this.
  13. 13.
    Gwennie
    You want me to believe this is Chollie's slut sister's name that Lotto loses his virginity to on a roof of a house that is burning down? Nah.
  14. 14.
    Luanne
    No one named Luanne is that self-confident, sexualized, or rude. Pass. Well... Actually, what makes up a Luanne? Unsure.
  15. 15.
    Rachel
    This family has all these crazy fun names, and we give Lotto's sister RACHEL? I mean, I get Antoinette went Biblical before she was born and that she is supposed to be a little more level headed than others, but we couldn't choose something a little more exciting?
  16. 16.
    Elizabeth/Pete (tied)
    The only names more annoyingly boring than Rachel are the people Rachel gets involved with. They might both be boring people, though. Jury's still out to see if these characters even do anything...
  17. 17.
    Lotto (Lancelot)
    Are you... fuuuuucking... kidding me? Wooooow. I mean, I LOVE it, but a schmuck like this sharing a name with literally hitting the jackpot? 🙄
  18. 18.
    BONUS: Jelly Roll
    Do we know Jelly Roll's name? I don't know, I don't care, this is singlehandedly the meanest and best tormenting nickname (second to Truffle Shuffle, which has already been taken).