📚 Fates and Furies, Week One: Characters Ranked by How Well Their Name Suits Them 📚
@BookClub sorry I'm a little late, but I'm ready now! My biggest takeaway -- after how much I love the book's plot and prose so much -- was how weird everyone's name is, so without further ado...
- 1.MathildeTotally buy this name as a model-esque "ice queen." Better than Elsa, anyway...
- 2.ChollieA gross sounding name for a gross sounding person. 💯
- 3.SamuelAbsolutely perfect for an old money, upper class young adult who gets a job in finance and (I'm speculating here) probably wears Sperry's as his off-the-clock shoe of choice.
- 4.AntoinetteA name fit for a queen. Hilariously extravagant. Alright!
- 5.DentonHis last name is Thrasher. For the man who sexually assaulted Lotto as a grieving and suicidal teenager, I'll allow it.
- 6.BetteThe upstairs neighbor, a queen like Antoinette but let's regal, just like her name. All in for this choice.
- 7.DanicaObsessed with this name choice for a friend that's not super important but still hangs around, is friendly enough but doesn't leave the strongest impression.
- 8.SusannahFor the graduate playing a teenager girl on a soap opera? Yep yep yep.
- 9.MichaelThe Asian boy who Gwennie liked and who liked Lotto... Forgettable name for forgettable character. Works.
- 10.NatalieYeahhhhhhhh this is right for the fast fading friend.
- 11.SallieConfused by how Gawain and Sallie came from the same parents. Cute, feels a little matronly, so I guess it works for me.
- 12.GawainI mean... Sure? Kind of love this, kind of hate this, mostly just hate that I'm not totally sure how to pronounce this.
- 13.GwennieYou want me to believe this is Chollie's slut sister's name that Lotto loses his virginity to on a roof of a house that is burning down? Nah.
- 14.LuanneNo one named Luanne is that self-confident, sexualized, or rude. Pass. Well... Actually, what makes up a Luanne? Unsure.
- 15.RachelThis family has all these crazy fun names, and we give Lotto's sister RACHEL? I mean, I get Antoinette went Biblical before she was born and that she is supposed to be a little more level headed than others, but we couldn't choose something a little more exciting?
- 16.Elizabeth/Pete (tied)The only names more annoyingly boring than Rachel are the people Rachel gets involved with. They might both be boring people, though. Jury's still out to see if these characters even do anything...
- 17.Lotto (Lancelot)Are you... fuuuuucking... kidding me? Wooooow. I mean, I LOVE it, but a schmuck like this sharing a name with literally hitting the jackpot? 🙄
- 18.BONUS: Jelly RollDo we know Jelly Roll's name? I don't know, I don't care, this is singlehandedly the meanest and best tormenting nickname (second to Truffle Shuffle, which has already been taken).