🍔🍟 Remember When I Saw Someone Die Momentarily in a Mcdonald's at 2 AM? 🍟🍔

  1. The time: March, 2015. The place: Coral Gables, FL.
    Ok, I have to be honest right away, I'm not sure EXACTLY when this happened, so March 2015 is an approximation, but I know it was my senior year of college.
  2. My friend, Maura, and I were leaving a party and decided we were hungry, and the only thing that was going to solve that was McDonald's.
  3. I don't know about other college campuses, but the McDonald's adjacent to the University of Miami is affectionately referred to as DrunkDonald's.
  4. Anyway, after schlepping from the house party back to my dorm room, we continued to McDonald's. Maura got chicken nuggets, and I got a Number 6, which is a quarter-pounder cheeseburger with all the fixings (lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, ketchup and mustard).
  5. Upon ordering, we move aside and watch a group of young adults around our age saunter to the counter. The first one places his order and moves in front of us.
  6. This boy... Bless his heart. He fills his cup up with something clear (water? Sprite?), and leans on the counter near us.
  7. Maura and I, deep in conversation, are interrupted by a splash and a smack. The splash is the cup falling off the counter and spilling on the floor.
  8. The smack is this boy's body hitting the floor of this dirty ass McDonald's.
  9. His eyes roll to the back of his head.
  10. He is convulsing. I had never seen a seizure before, but I have now!
  11. I am 85% sure this kid stopped breathing.
  12. His friends rush over to him. The manager picks up the phone. Maura and I are in shock and can't move, along with the rest of the McDonald's patrons.
  13. The friends of this boy start bickering. One friend yells at the manager to call 911. Another tells the manager not to (if you needed confirmation they weren't on legal drugs, here you go).
  14. The manager, knowing his job, ignores them and starts calling 911 anyway.
  15. And then... He stood up.
  16. We all watch, in awe, wondering what the hell we just witnessed. The manager puts the phone back and continues directing staff to their responsibilities.
  17. Maura and I chose to sit down on the other side of the restaurant. We finally get our food.
  18. MY CHEESEBURGER DID NOT HAVE A BOTTOM BUN.
  19. This was how my burger looked: top bun, condiments, veggies, cheese, patty, BOX.
  20. WHAT THE FUCK, McDONALD'S?
  21. I waited more than ten minutes for another burger.
  22. What was the REAL tragedy here? I'll let you decide. Just know that the seizing boy left the restaurant on his own two feet, whereas McDonald's wasted perfectly good ingredients by missing the literal building block of a burger.
  23. Stay safe, don't take illegal psychedelics, and continue supporting your local McDonald's, through thick and thin!