Ways My First Name Has Been Mispronounced

muh-TAHN. Like "baton" with an M. It's Hebrew for "gift" because OF COURSE IT IS look at me!
  1. MAH-ten
    Soft a, like "Matt." This is the most common one.
  2. muh-TAN
    Also pretty common.
  3. MAY-ten
    These slip in every once in a while from strangers and first-day situations.
  4. muh-TONE
    This is where it starts to get funky fresh.
  5. muh-TAIN
    Like "maintain?" Ugh, try harder.
  6. muh-HAHN
    Closest but also farthest. Usually after I wrote my name in all capital letters and the two Ts blend into an H. Slash the person reading is illiterate.
  7. muh-TEEN
    My middle school gym teacher and high school dean of students (same woman) called me this, even after nominating me for a metro-wide "Student of the Week" award given by a local news channel. Still love ya, AC!
  8. Matt
    You skipped a few letters there!
  9. Mutton
    Like mutton chop. This was an unfortunate nickname for a few months in high school.
  10. Mitten
    Are you fucking kidding me?