WHY YOU SHOULD HIRE ME

  1. I have very low self esteem and will do pretty much anything for your approval.
  2. I make a great shower playlist.
    - Hollaback Girl - No Scrub - The Potential Breakup Song
  3. I will bring up office morale with frequent Miss Piggy quotes.
  4. Sexual favors are not off the table.
  5. I have a great water cooler story about that time I saw Nicki Minaj's nip slip in person.
  6. You can score some points with God for helping the less fortunate.
  7. I'm really into peace.
  8. I'm gay but in a fun and nonthreatening way.
  9. I will be SO much (too much?) fun at the company Christmas party.
  10. Wine Wednesdays