A STORY OF FEAR, HYPERVENTILATION, INTRIGUE AND DISCOVERY - DICK PIC EDITION

Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire. But actually this horrific thing happened to ME.
  1. I was at the gym avoiding doing my homework.
    The only time you'll find me there.
  2. I was getting to the hill climb of my fat melting boot camp on the elliptical.
  3. Hearing my heart begin to fail, I stopped browsing Instagram and focused my energy on pushing harder through the workout to reach the top of the mountain.
  4. Everything ached as I reached the peak, phone gripped tightly in hand as I prevailed.
  5. The elliptical clicked into its new setting of going downhill fast.
  6. The resistance was nonexistent.
  7. I was a champion.
  8. I had triumphed.
  9. I looked back at my phone to continue my social media activities and brag to my fit friends about my accomplishment of surviving a mediocre by their standards workout.
  10. Horror.
  11. My screen was not locked.
  12. I was looking at an Instagram of dick pics.
  13. My hand had betrayed me.
  14. Penises everywhere.
  15. I locked my phone in panic.
  16. How many people had seen this on my screen as I grunted my sweaty ass up that hill?
  17. Holy fucking shit I had accidentally started following the account.
  18. Unfollow. Lock.
  19. But wait? Would this show up on followers' following news feed?
  20. I frantically facetimed my friend shouting into the phone with panic and without shame "Penis!"
  21. It would appear I was safe. But perhaps someone out there knows without context. Perhaps I'm the girl who follows the dick pic account.
  22. It was the same penis in every photo.
  23. Same camera angle.
  24. All that changed were the clothes.
  25. One penis. Many times.
  26. Who does that?
  27. Is this a thing that we do now?
  28. Imagine if every penis in the world had an Instagram account...
  29. Accounts for one individual penis?
  30. While pondering this new world I walked home.
  31. On my way I answered the question that always loomed above.
  32. Where do all the NYC Halal carts go?
  33. They go in this warehouse.
  34. I learned a lot about meat that day.