MRI MORNING EXPERIENCE

  1. Spent 45 mins picking the perfect outfit
    I decided to wear the same thing I wear everyday. It was a tough choice.
  2. Uber had surge pricing so I took a cab like the peasant I am
  3. Love a good Orthodox Jew on a citi bike
  4. Filled out endless forms
    As per usual made many mistakes so everything is crossed out and written over.
  5. Got to change into a cute outfit
  6. Literally the only sizes! I have never felt so respected.
  7. Thought too long about a fun experiment.
  8. I didn't have socks so I got free ones. They gave me, a size 10, small/child size socks
    Again, a sign of respect.
  9. Then I was taken into the room and came face to face with a fancy coffin.
  10. This would have been really impressive if the MRI was not of my foot.
    I went in foot first.
  11. They asked me which music I wanted to listen to which I was not prepared for. I instantly started sweating in panic. "Surprise me!" I yelled.
  12. They had so much opportunity to make this really fun. Instead they put on Top 20, which I initially mistook for High School Musical Greatest Hits. Overall, anticlimactic.
  13. People aren't lying, it sounds like a war zone.
  14. Some weird shit happens to your body that makes your body want to twitch when you have to stay still.
  15. Skin tingles.
  16. 25 mins later it's done.
  17. All you have to remember it by is a list...
  18. And the knowledge that I now know what it feels like to be the body in an open coffin viewing.