WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY
- •Age 5-7an Army Man like the action figures I used to simulate battles I'd seen(?)
- •8-9Pokemon Master. I was all about the Pokemon game for REAL in elementary school. Then one day I dropped my Pokemon:Red gameboy cartridge out the window of my Dad's truck whilst traveling down the highway. It was that moment I decided that enough was enough and I needed to get serious about my fucking future
- •9.5-12Professional Baseball Player. I was riding high off two straight All-Star team selections and decided things were shaping up for a real run to the show.
- •13Play by Play commentator for the Boston Red Sox. I discovered that I was actually an average baseball player at best, thus paving my way to the broadcast booth for the Sox. Despite having an incredibly annoying prepubescent voice that mocked that of a 10 year old girl.
- •14-17 (I like to call this the fucking loser stage of my life) aka High SchoolCareer? Future? What? Get out of Bed? No
- •18-19What's the easiest college major I can choose? Criminal Justice sounds great. I'll just fall into an elite level Government agency job with my earth-shattering 2.5 GPA and overall complete lack of direction/ambition/dedication.
- •20-CurrentPerhaps my most legitimate goal to date: I want to be a person who helps people and makes a lot of money