Somewhere in the multiverse there has to be mes who don't have a boring day job.
  1. 5. Animator
    I pursued my most beloved profession with vigor. And did not allow drugs to happen.
  2. 4. Clean and "For the People" Politician
    Those years of being a college radical paid off as I rose through the ranks as a leader working for the little guy.
  3. 3. Sleazy Politician
    Those yeas of being a college radical paid off... at first. But then reality and gobs of lobbyist money, coke and hookers got in the way. I am eventually undone by a Tumblr scandal.
  4. 2. RadioShack Super CEO
    As a lowly battery pusher, I actually began speaking to management about the insane pricing model in the internet age and quickly rose through the ranks to become head of the RaSh. Eventually the company stops selling Monster cables and starts selling unicorn paraphernalia.
  5. 1. Hobo
    I fulfilled the destiny I truly had all along. My bindle swings limply over my shoulder as I ride the rails looking for my next fix. Other hobos greatly respect my ability to maintain trashcan fires.