They're paying you to pitch jokes!
  1. THE SAVIOR: "The story doesn't work at all. But I know how to fix it."
  2. THE VOICE OF TODAY: "A teenager wouldn't say it that way."
  3. THE STAND-UP: "You are all a trapped audience who have never seen any of my bits before!"
  4. MRS. NAME-DROP: "That reminds me of when Jack Black was in the room for Kung Fu Panda 2..."
  5. THE STUDIO-SUCK UP: "Let's not forget the note we got about making sure the the stakes are clear."
  6. THE SPOILED GUY: "Can you believe we're only getting $2500 a day?"
  7. THE HERO OF THE HERO'S JOURNEY: "Um, we're not even at the inciting incident yet, how are we going to make it to the first quest rejection by page 30?"
  8. THE HACK POLICE: "That's funny but they did it on an episode of American Dad."
  9. IPHONE ADDICT: "(nothing)"
  10. DIRTY JOE: "And then he jizzes blood out of his penis nose!"
  11. QUEEN OF THE TINY FIXES: "I think if you changed 'anger' to 'fury' here the line would really hit harder."
  12. THE TRUTH-TELLER: "Like this movie is ever even gonna get made."
  13. CAN'T LET IT GO: "And if we do that thing I said earlier, everything in this scene will also have to change."
  14. THE CINEMA SCHOLAR: "Kurosawa traditionally included traveling minstrels as his 'Greek chorus'..."
  15. THE ORIGINAL WRITER: "(nothing)"
  16. THE TEAM: "My partner and I got together yesterday and we have a pitch." "I agree with that pitch."
    Suggested by @danny