LIFE LESSONS MY KIDS HAVE LEARNED FROM ME DRIVING THEM TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY
- •Always tip generously.
- •Riding your bike without a helmet is attempted suicide.
- •In-N-Out is good for you but McDonald's is deadly poison.
- •If you're homeless getting a tiny dog is a smart move if you want to pull in more cash.
- •The worst crime a driver can commit is the slightest hesitation before turning left on a green arrow.
- •Capitalism is a greed-driven pyramid scheme that someday will topple and crush us all.
- •Jesus no es dios.
- •Advertising is evil but also the reason you go to a private school where you call teachers by their first names and lunch comes with edamame.