NEW CAREER IDEAS

I would be great at these
  1. Buffalo Wing Judge
    determines if enough meat has been consumed off a wing to count as “done” in wing-eating competitions
  2. Sleepover Consultant
    convinces kids who want to bail on a sleepover to power through so their parents don’t have to come get them in the middle of the night
  3. Thoughtful Workout Stranger
    gently chats-up people in gyms with terrible form and persuades them to make injury-preventing adjustments, but in a manner than is supportive and not intrusive or judgmental
  4. TV Settings Adjuster
    travels to public places and changes the Frame Refresh Rate in the settings of HD televisions in bars, hotel rooms and waiting areas so that film looks like film and not cheap video
  5. Pass Interference Acting Coach
    instructs defensive football players in improvised dialogue and gesturing techniques to act convincingly outraged when referees call pass interference (no guarantee of reversed call)