REPLACEMENT TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE PERSONAS

Donatello, the TMNT's resident inventor & tech geek, was killed. The Turtles are known for their cool personalities, so here's some new ones (with Ninja weapon & favorite pizza).
  1. Unbearable, depressive self-obsessed Marc Maron from the beginning of WTF before the interview starts (shuriken, anchovy)
  2. Middle-aged closeted guy who runs the Nordstroms jewelry counter & doesn't suffer fools gladly (Japanese sickle or "kama", mushroom & sausage)
  3. "Is she messing with me or not?" Charlene Yi-type woman-child (spiked weighted chain, green pepper & onion)
  4. Dude who you've met a bunch of times who doesn't remember your name and when you remind him he uses it way too much (blow gun, white pizza w/ spinach)