SUPER-DUPER EASY CRISPY ROAST CHICKEN TO KEEP THE FAMILY YOU ALREADY HAVE

My version of @gabimoskowitz seduction chicken. The secret ingredient is time.
  1. Plan when you are eating. Start work 3 hours before then.
  2. Buy expensive fancy chicken.
  3. Take bird out of fridge & let sit for at least an hour at room temperature. This will not hurt you.
  4. Preheat oven to 325.
  5. Rinse, dry, salt & pepper whole bird, including inside.
  6. Poke holes in lemon & shove into cavity.
  7. Put in roasting pan & cook for 2 hours. Who cares if it's tied up? You're already married.
  8. That's it. Super crispy skin. No weird fat or pink meat. Evaporated liquid from lemon will keep it moist. Make 3 at once for your ungrateful brood.
  9. Of course, you should make gravy with the drippings. This is an acquired skill. Pour most of fat out of pan, mix with flour over heat till you have brown roux paste. Then mix in meat juices, stock, wine, water, whatevs & mush out lumps. For bonus flavor add a splash of soy sauce.
  10. (Take the lemon out of course.)