HOW I STOPPED MY SISTER'S CHURCH DINNER PARTY COLD

  1. My mother makes me insane.
  2. And so I usually text-vent to my sister since she is truly the only person who understands.
  3. These texts are generally heavily peppered with eff-bombs.
  4. She got a new phone and didn't know her texts would come across audibly.
  5. And she didn't put her phone on silent when hosting a dinner for 12 people from her church.
  6. When they sat down to eat, knowing of my illness, one person asked "may we pray for you sister?"
  7. At which point my profanity-laden text arrived... for the whole group.
  8. And my sister simply replied, "yes, I think we better."