IF I WENT TO HOGWARTS

I'm still waiting for my acceptance letter to Hogwarts...I'm not bitter about it at all...nope
  1. 11.
    I'd be in Ravenclaw...duh
  2. 10.
    I'd be that asshole that pulled pranks on everyone...because magic
  3. 9.
    I'd make an obscene amount of innuendos about wand size
  4. 8.
    Honestly, why give everyone a phallic object to wave around everywhere?
  5. 7.
    I'd probably get punished by Snape...multiple times
  6. 6.
    I'd be besties with McGonagal, she is queen. You go Minerva
  7. 5.
    I'd play Quidditch, and I would be the Keeper
  8. 4.
    My patronus would be a parrot.
  9. 3.
    I'd punch Draco in the face the day I got there...what a little shit
  10. 2.
    Also, Dolores Umbridge...that bitch needs to just not exist. Too much pink. Too many cats. Just no...bye.
  11. 1.
    But most importantly...I'd be the one to defeat the Dark Lord.