THOUGHTS BEFORE RELEASING A FART IN PUBLIC

  1. Will this be a loud one?
  2. What have I had to eat recently?
  3. How awful will this one smell?
  4. Do I have at least a 2 foot clearance between myself and the person next to me?
  5. Where is my route of exit?
  6. Are there people prohibiting me from my separation from the fart?
  7. If I get stuck, what's my excuse?
  8. Can I just cover it up and pretend it wasn't me?
  9. I mean...whoever smelt it, dealt it. Right?
  10. Should I hold this in?
  11. What if I shit a little?
  12. Wait, should I find a bathroom?
  13. Do I need to pee?
  14. What if I pee myself when I fart?
  15. Am I wearing dark enough clothing that any amount of piss won't show through?
  16. But seriously, what if this isn't just a fart?
  17. Ah fuck it, who cares?
  18. *releases fart*
  19. Success! Goodbye young one, it was nice knowing you.
  20. Walks away swiftly.