This happened about a month ago and I had a terrible flash back after it almost happened again last night again
  1. Ahh home sweet home, so glad I'm finally off that number to number traffic on 76
  2. Hm no parking out front, better pull over to bring all this stuff up stairs
  3. Hey that's pat and Febbo at our door
  4. "Yo guys!"
  5. *rolls window up*
  6. *gets out of car*
  7. Oh Jared came down maybe he'll help me bring stuff up
  8. "Hey jar could I get a hand?"
  9. Cool he's gonna help
  10. *closes door*
  11. *shakes Jared's hand*
  12. *walks to passenger side door*
  13. "Ok, you really only need to grab this case of beer"
  14. *pulls passenger door handle*
  15. *door doesn't open*
  16. *ominous bell chimes in head*
  17. "Jared.... Can you open the door?"
  18. *jared can't open door*
  19. *looks at keys in the ignition*
  20. *reflects on every mistake I've ever made and decides this is the worst one*
  21. Ok Maxx, no biggie there must be a way in
  22. *frantically pulls on both door handles several more times*
  23. the trunk?
  24. *hopelessly tries to pry trunk open*
  25. *is spotted by homeless man digging through trash*
  26. "You locked out of your car?"
  27. "Yup"
  28. "Want me to break into it for you"
  29. Wow Maxx new low say no, you can break into yourself
  30. "YES"
  31. "Ok I'm gonna need a wire hanger or something"
  32. Wire hanger? Do I have any of those?
  33. "Let me go check if I have any"
  34. *Sprints to front door*
  35. *walks into a room full of people*
  36. Great now I'm going to have to explain how I Locke day keys in my car and am now looking for a wire hanger so a homeless guy can break into it
  37. No, no time
  38. "Jared!! Stank!!! Do you guys have any wire hangers?!"
  39. Of course they don't who uses wire hangers anymore? Plastic is much more efficient to produce
  40. "Maybe"
  41. *starts tearing apart everyone's closets clinging to the hope of a single wire hanger*
  42. Nothing. Not sure what else I was expecting
  43. Guess I should call triple A
  44. My triple A card is in the car
  45. "EHO HAD A TRIPLE A CARD??!!!"
  46. Pat does yes
  47. Ok jus gotta give them a call
  48. "Hi yes, Julia? My names max and I locked my keys in my car and it's running"
  49. God that sounds so stupid
  50. "An hour and 45 minutes? No that's perfect thank you"
  51. That's not perfect there's frozen soup in the car
  52. Maxx stop thinking about the soup you could run out of gas and need to get towed that costs like $200
  54. Ah better go down and tell the homeless guy to forget about it
  55. Maybe I should bring him a beer
  56. And a banana
  57. "Hey forget the hanger triple A is going to be here in an hour"
  58. "What's your name"
  59. Ah his name is Tyrone maybe I can befriend him that could turn the night around
  60. "Want a beer Tyrone? Maybe a banana?"
  61. Ok he took the beer and denied the banana. Tough but fair
  62. "So how long have you been homeless?"
  63. Is that an innapropriate question? Should I not have asked that?
  64. Ok he's answering
  65. Wow 3 years jeez
  66. Aw he's telling me about how his mom died and he got kicked out of his apartment
  67. "So what's your story then?"
  68. Now we're really getting into it
  69. Better grab a few more beers
  70. * grabs a more beer*
  71. *pat joins us*
  72. *tyrone starts telling us his life story*
  73. Wow I can't believe he was in jail for conspiracy to murder
  74. What do mean? Your first interaction with this man was him offering to break into your car of course you can believe it
  75. and he was pretty deep into his gang
  76. Ok, this guy definitely did it but cut some kind of deal
  77. Will he murder me?
  78. Should we leave?
  79. No don't make unfair assumptions Maxx he's just a regular person
  80. he's literally car calling every girl that walks by
  81. Tyrone's got the jokes
  82. Triple A is calling, finally
  83. "You're almost here? Great"
  84. I hope my soup is ok
  85. Oh man I totally forgot about this banana
  86. *starts eating banana*
  87. *triple A shows up*
  88. Oh thank the lawd
  89. *triple A guy effortlessly unlocks my car and briefly takes the form of a divine being, only briefly*
  90. "Thanks man, hold on a second"
  91. Checks wallet for a tip
  92. Ah I only have 2 singles and some twenties
  93. I can't tip him twenty I pay for this service
  94. But $2 is almost an insult
  95. Just give him the $2 Maxx he'll appreciate the gesture
  96. "Here ya go man, sorry it's all I have"
  97. Now I need to give Tyrone something that's definitely why he has stuck around so long
  98. "Alright Tyrone thanks for keeping morale high out here" *gives Tyrone $40*
  99. *brings everything inside and begins drinking my sorrows away*