ALTERNATE LIVES I'LL ALWAYS ENVY, BUT KNOW IF I HAD I WOULD GROW TO HATE

Never give up the dream (because you'd hate it if it were reality.)
  1. Desert Shaman
    Dream: white stucco house, mad cacti, crystals, lotta time looking at the stars. Pros: lot of stars, solitude, *sun*, having mystical abilities, the desert is gorgeous. Cons: dust storms, excess of solitude/loneliness, shower guilt, sunburns, mystical abilities can be a drag when everybody asking you to fix their mystical shit, loneliness.
  2. Lumberjack
    Dream: cabin in the woods, off the grid, time communing with trees. (In my dream, lumberjack me does not actually cut down trees, but is more like "this forest is my charge and I will CARE for it!") Pros: solitude, trees are incredible and have the best smell, sense of purpose, lots of stars, pancakes with fresh maple syrup, lots of baby trees. Cons: excess of solitude/loneliness, never getting to wear a pretty dress and drink champagne, would get boring?
  3. Legal mastermind
    Dream: being an incredible attorney/judge, general badass in the courtroom. Pros: lots of problems to solve, lots of opportunities to think about right and wrong, sense of purpose, opportunity to create a more just world, hypothetically. Cons: limited opportunities to ACTUALLY create a more just world, lots of paperwork and sitting at a desk, limited tolerance for my mad ADD, too many rules.
  4. Baker
    Dream: having my own rad bakery. Pros: unlimited cinnamon rolls, croissants, bread, lots of time to play in the kitchen and invent recipes, getting to feed other people all day long. Cons: not actually getting to eat all the desserts (it's a bad business model) or actually eating all the desserts (and weighing 400 pounds), having to wake up at the crack of dawn every single day to bake the same things.
  5. Farmer
    Dream: grow your own food! Your land is your castle! Pros: self-sufficiency, sense of purpose, baby goats, lots of things growing around you all the time, delicious fresh produce whenever you want. Cons: not actually like frolicking in the farmer's market, creatively unsatisfying, fucking hard.
  6. Reclusive Author
    Dream: I am a literary legend and I never leave my house. Pros: solitude, creative satisfaction, not dealing with anybody's bullshit, lots of time to read books, feeling like a badass. Cons: loneliness, depression, not getting to take a break cause then that ruins it, no friends allowed.