I have a lot of puppy-inspired fantasies.
  1. Malti-poo
    Despite having what is truly the stupidest name in creation, these pups are a winner. Hypoallergenic, good-tempered, and small enough to fit under the seat in front of you on the airplane- plus has the upside of looking like a teddy bear. //If I had this, I would fulfill the actress small-dog stereotype and carry it with me everywhere. I would lose all my friends. (But make new ones?)
  2. Greyhound
    These beautiful dogs are very loyal and sweet. // If I got one, I would live in Paris and becomes a long-distance runner. We would be fast and lean together, I would eat all the croissants and it wouldn't even matter...
  3. Husky
    The softest, a great watchdog. // We would live in the woods in the Pacific Northwest. I would eat lots of steak and share it with my sweet husky pup. Maybe I would get a whole team?
  4. Great Dane
    These dogs are actually ponies in costume. // I would be the little spoon. I would drive around with my Great Dane, Groucho, in the passenger seat of my vintage car, and intimidate men.
  5. Bulldog
    Bulldog faces remind me of storybook ogres. // I would embrace my inner lady-loving genderqueer. I would grow chubby, like my puppy, and we would wear matching bandanas.
  6. Pug
    Jk, I never dream about having a pug cause they scare me. The only one I like is named Backgammon, and she's mostly tongue, I feel like she's really embraced the pug essence.
  7. Pomeranian
    Walking balls of fluff. // I would be a model. My pooch would be my walking handbag, and I would carry it in the large pocket of my tremendous fur coat. We would be wide-eyed, blissful, and care-free together. Note: this fantasy would need to involve a lot of drugs.
  8. Goat
    Goats are not puppies, but they kind of act like puppies. // I would live in the woods on a farm. My life would be consist entirely of: playing with baby goats, boning a hot farmer in our haystacks, eating fresh goat cheese snacks, playing with baby goats.