Last year, my boyfriend was on tour 9 out of 12 months of the year. In order to have a relationship, I went to a lot of music festivals, including both weekends of Coachella. I learned things
  1. The bandana is not for fashion.
    It can, in fact, be a bad fashion choice for some people. (We can't all be cowboys/Bruce Springsteen/a rad bulldog.) You should definitely, however, wear one anyways. When the the dust comes, and it will like come (perhaps even as a storm!) you will want to be able to cover your mouth/face/eyes and it is helpful to have something with which to do that, other than your shirt.
  2. Coachella is like Halloween.
    Like during Halloween, lots of girls will wear their sluttiest/cutest outfit. Lots of guys will wear shorts. Lots of white people will exercise their perceived "right" to culturally appropriate textiles and designs from the world over in an insane fashion. It seems perfectly acceptable to wear something at COACHELLA that you would have to be paid to wear under other circumstances. It is a pretty judgement-free zone.
  3. For this festival, it really does count to be "with the band."
    The artist area has SHADE, free Popsicles, cold beer, a little pond... If you can figure out how to get and artist wristband, do it! (This is hard, I know.) If you do get an artist's wristband, DO NOT SKIP CATERING. It is fucking great.
  4. Remember that band you forgot about?
    They probably still have fans.
  5. If people do enough drugs and there are limited enough options, they will have sex in a porta-potty.
    I peed next to a couple doing the nasty, in the nastiest way. I will never forget it.
  6. ALWAYS take pictures of the worst tattoos, because Coachella is the Mecca of Bad Tattoos.
    Suggested by @kflinn1