What You Need in a Man

For my best friend and current significant other @christina_ac
  1. First thing's first: for him to be a man
    It's not always about age but time usually turns men into boys because scar tissue and a little travel makes the heart gentler and the eyesight sharper so he can both feel you and see you as you should be felt and seen.
  2. Culture
    I don't actually care about where he's from or not from but I do care that he's grown up knowing and seeing things that meant something to him and his loved ones because that's the only way he'll be able to appreciate your things. And for you to develop your own things. It's language, it's history, it's the smell of something eccentric cooking in the oven, and it's an awareness of someone else's languages, history, and eccentric food smells that aren't his own.
  3. Feminism
    Need I say more?
  4. A healthy sex drive
    Also needs no explanation
  5. A sense of humor that isn't contrived or turned on and off for an audience
    Literary references are cute but not a must. Being funny doesn't need to be about pop culture or making fun of someone else. Being funny in a relationship with you comes from speaking your language and appreciating what you appreciate.
  6. Altruism
    It's unfathomable at this point that you date someone who isn't just as kind-hearted as you are, whose eyes don't grow 10 sizes at the thought of selflessly giving to someone else, and who doesn't get existentially upset over the fucked up nature of the world's class system.
  7. For him to love your dog
    Deal breaker.
  8. For him to love me!
    See above.