Like any red-blooded American male, I was raised on Disney movies. As a side effect, many of my early crushes came from these movies. A few of these crushes are somewhat problematic.
  1. Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
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    I have no proof of this, but Ariel's transformation scene might have been the first moment of my sexual awakening.
  2. Pocahontas (Pocahontas)
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    Why, yes, I do in fact know why the grinning bobcat grins.
  3. Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins)
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    Hot for nanny.
  4. Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
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    Started my love affair with voracious readers.
  5. Jasmine (Aladdin)
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    Bare midriff and pet tiger? That's a killer one-two punch.
  6. Faline (Bambi)
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    This one might have been a bit confusing.
  7. Nala (The Lion King)
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    See above.
  8. Susan Evers/Sharon McKendrick (The Parent Trap)
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    What young lad wasn't emotionally devastated to find out there is in fact only one Hayley Mills?
  9. Jenny (Oliver & Company)
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    My hipster pick. Y'all don't know nothing about this.
  10. Miss Price (Bedknobs and Broomsticks)
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    Infatuation, she wrote. (Note: I mentally rejected so many dirty jokes for this caption)
  11. Robin Hood (Robin Hood)
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    Please don't ask me to explain this one. I'm just trying to keep it real.