GOD'S BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS THAT WERE MADE TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP (A VISUAL GUIDE)

Survival in nature is war, and these guys are proof positive.
  1. Wasp/Hornet/Yellow Jacket
    A tiny, organic jet plane. When you are outside trying to enjoy your ice cream these fuckers are coming in hot. Also, do you see that waist size? They promote a very unhealthy body image.
  2. Centipede
    These creatures are not born; they are spawned from the deepest depths of Hell. Living in Hawaii makes you very familiar with centipedes. When one of these things is coming towards, you know they are filled with ill intent. Doesn't help that we saw someone on the Internet compare their bites to the experience of a gunshot. 😬
  3. Rhino
    God: I want to make a living tank. Boom, Rhino.
  4. Scorpion
    Watch my dangerous claws, watch my dangerous claws, watch my dangerous BOOM STINGER TAIL. DEAD.
  5. Shark
    Evil incarnate. Fun (unproven) fact: there are more horror movies about sharks than demons.
  6. Grizzly Bear
    They have seen us try to mock them by giving kids teddy bears and they are pissed.
  7. Piranha
    You think my underbite is funny? I only have one because my mouth isn't big enough for all my effing teeth that I plan to ruin your day with.
  8. Tiger
    The well-dressed and suave serial killer. They are so smooth and composed that you don't even realize the moment they start eating your face off.
  9. Jellyfish
    Am I even an animal? Am I just a piece of floating plastic? Neither, I'm the source of your demise. Bonus: after I sting the shit out of you, acquaintances and strangers alike are going to be trying to piss on you. You're welcome.
  10. Cobra
    I've heard there are snakes out there that will hug and squeeze you to death. That's cute. I prefer a more direct approach: biting the shit of you with my big ass venomous fangs.
  11. Velociraptor
    They can open doors. We're all fucking dead.