Requirements to Be a 90s Worship Leader

Gleaned from a lifetime of experiences at contemporary church services.
  1. Ability to make worship lyric transparency sheets.
    Old school.
  2. Ability to do that thing when you try out a new song and say the next verse really quickly before you sing it.
    "Lordweliftyournameonhigh... 🎶 Lord, we lift your name on high 🎶"
  3. Ability to make witty, vapid small talk before greeting time.
  4. Ability to exhibit some serious passive-aggressiveness when your mic goes out or there's an AV issue.
    "Seems like the team in the booth decided to sleep in this morning! Thanks for nothing, Gary!"
  5. Ability to read the room and know when to bust out the good shit.
    "Lord I Lift Your Name on High", anyone?
  6. Ability to end your prayer with the perfect segue leading to the next worship song.
    "... and that's why I am thankful that we serve... an Awesome God. 🎶 Our God is an awesome God... 🎶"
  7. Ability to find the perfect secular songs that can be contorted into being considering a "worship song."
    "That Vertical Horizons song could totally be about Jesus because HE is everything we want."
  8. Ability to grow a goatee.
    Obvi