THE AWFUL, SHITTY THING I'VE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE THAT I JUST REALIZED WAS AWFUL AND SHITTY

Is it just me?
  1. So you walk into the public restroom and think:
    "Score! The handicap stall is open!"
  2. Then you proceed to enjoy the leg room and relative privacy that such a luxury provides.
    So much room for activities!
  3. But just the other day I was (sitting in a handicap stall in a public restroom and) thinking:
    "Wait, is this awful and shitty of me?"
  4. I consider myself a pretty moral and upstanding citizen.
  5. So, what the hell was I doing thinking I had a right to a stall that was not made for me?
  6. Can you imagine the horror if a legit disabled person came into the bathroom while I was in there and had to sit and wait patiently for me to finish my business?
    It would bring a whole new level to the idea of a Walk of Shame.
  7. But wait, you say. What if it's the only stall open?
    But wait, I say. Would you park in a handicap spot if there were no more spots in the parking lot?
  8. But wait, you say. It's not illegal to use a handicap stall but it is illegal to park in a handicap spot.
  9. You've just opened a deep, existential can of worms, hypothetical conversationalist.
  10. What other horrible atrocities would I be committing if they weren't against the law?
    Murder? Grand Theft Auto??? Littering?????
  11. This is something I'd rather not contemplate.
  12. So, that's it for me. I've out of the handicap stall business.
  13. I'll be doing my part, sitting in a regular stall, trying not to make foot-to-foot contact with my neighbor.
  14. .
  15. .
  16. .
  17. Ah fuck, what about the kid urinal?