THE AWFUL, SHITTY THING I'VE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE THAT I JUST REALIZED WAS AWFUL AND SHITTY
Is it just me?
- •So you walk into the public restroom and think:"Score! The handicap stall is open!"
- •Then you proceed to enjoy the leg room and relative privacy that such a luxury provides.So much room for activities!
- •But just the other day I was (sitting in a handicap stall in a public restroom and) thinking:"Wait, is this awful and shitty of me?"
- •I consider myself a pretty moral and upstanding citizen.
- •So, what the hell was I doing thinking I had a right to a stall that was not made for me?
- •Can you imagine the horror if a legit disabled person came into the bathroom while I was in there and had to sit and wait patiently for me to finish my business?It would bring a whole new level to the idea of a Walk of Shame.
- •But wait, you say. What if it's the only stall open?But wait, I say. Would you park in a handicap spot if there were no more spots in the parking lot?
- •But wait, you say. It's not illegal to use a handicap stall but it is illegal to park in a handicap spot.
- •You've just opened a deep, existential can of worms, hypothetical conversationalist.
- •What other horrible atrocities would I be committing if they weren't against the law?Murder? Grand Theft Auto??? Littering?????
- •This is something I'd rather not contemplate.
- •So, that's it for me. I've out of the handicap stall business.
- •I'll be doing my part, sitting in a regular stall, trying not to make foot-to-foot contact with my neighbor.
- •Ah fuck, what about the kid urinal?