Why potty training is so so hard

I clearly have a death wish being home with a newborn and potty training my 3 y/o, but it had to happen at some point. This being my first real list is perhaps strange, but it's about relevance my friends.
  1. Nag nag nag
    As if I didn't already have enough things to remind my kid about, i now have alarms set every 15 minutes to remind me to nag her
  2. The poop...it's EVERYWHERE
    Somehow she knows to go hide when she's pooping, but cannot seem to hide anywhere close to the potty. Instead, she's low riding the back of her Princess Jasmine underwear which now has to come down and around her feet, ideally without streaking all the way down her legs which is the skill level equivalent of removing the funny bone in Operation. 💩
  3. "They'll do it when they're ready"
    If one more person tells me that she will potty train when she's ready, I will scream. And until she's ready? Shall I plan to send Depends to preschool with her now that's she's close to outgrown normal diapers. There simply comes a point when the world is ready.
  4. Potty talk
    Once they begin, they really want to share their bathroom pride with the world and potty talk becomes the norm...for you, but not the rest of the world as is apparent from the uncomfortable faces in the supermarket line. Excuse me Mr. Early 30's Businessman stopping to grab a bottle of wine on his way home from work, I pee in the potty like a big girl.
  5. Public bathrooms
    These are gross when you don't have to hoist yourself up on a pee sprinkled, paper covered seat. 😷 Of course, the bathroom must be explored at each stop along your journey because who knows if Target will have a different set up than that TGIFriday's who's bathroom was so unimpressive.