FACTS ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND THAT ARE FINE ON THEIR OWN BUT DON'T ADD UP TO A COHESIVE HUMAN BEING

  1. Really enjoys sports, especially football.
  2. Plays Dungeons & Dragons every Sunday from 3-7:30 pm.
  3. Thinks he invented the phrase "early 2000s"
  4. Majoring in Economics
  5. Works at a successful law software company in downtown Chicago.
  6. Cries actual real life tears when watching certain scenes of The Office, most dramatic movies, and a BBC documentary on Otters.
  7. Enjoys the history channel, but not the current one. History channel from the early 2000s, when they actually discussed historical stuff.
  8. Has a folder of weather apps on his phone entitled "What's Up?"
  9. Made up his own language called Huntanian. It can't be translated.
  10. Really objectively handsome.