HOW TO BE ME IN 5 EASY STEPS

Inspired by all the rad people doing these today!
  1. 1.
    Be late to everything
    And I mean e v e r y t h i n g !!! I can't be on time to something to save my life. It's my plan for me to be wheeled in 15 minutes late to my funeral so I can be late one last time
  2. 2.
    Make cringe-worthy puns or lame ass dad jokes
    My joke of the day: If I was a spice, what would I be ???? Slutmeg
  3. 3.
    Half-ass your workouts but full-ass your cheat day rewards
    I mean I did one push-up... that's 300 calories right?? Guess I CAN have that slice of pie tonight!!
  4. 4.
    Be very emotional and sensitive to everything, overthink the simplest of things until you're a complete mess
    I'm a huge crybaby... oops
  5. 5.
    Watch at least two hours of Netflix a day
    Two hours is soft af so at least that