I woke up to my husband watching a documentary about Magic Cards in the middle of the night.

Now I have questions...
  1. 1.
    Why are you awake?
    You totally fell asleep before me.
  2. 2.
    Why are you watching a documentary about Poker players in the middle of the night?
  3. 3.
    Why are all of their voices so piercing and irritating?
  4. 4.
    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THIS IS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO PLAY MAGIC CARDS!?!?
    (Upon actually rolling over and looking at the screen)
  5. 5.
    What the hell?
  6. 6.
    Do you know it's 1:30am?
  7. 7.
    How is this interesting to you?
  8. 8.
    HOW IS THERE A WHOLE DOCUMENTARY ABOUT PEOPLE PARTICIPATING IN MAGIC CARD COMPETITIONS!?!?
  9. 9.
    Why do you laugh every time I say Magic Cards?
  10. 10.
    What do you mean I'm saying it wrong?
    OH! It's called "Magic: The Gathering" Well, now I'm mad that I know that.
  11. 11.
    What other effed up things are you doing in the middle of the night?
  12. 12.
    There's a Magic Cards Pro Tour?
    This is why I thought you were watching something about poker.
  13. 13.
    Is that guy serious? His big hope and dream is to be INVITED to the Magic Card World Championship?
  14. 14.
    HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN INVITED!?!?
  15. 15.
    Why is this on?
  16. 16.
    Do you have your own Magic Cards you've been hiding from me?
    Are they in the office closet?
  17. 17.
    We've been married for 9 years. What else are you hiding from me?
  18. 18.
    Do you have dice? DO YOU HAVE 20 SIDED DICE YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME?
  19. 19.
    Figurines? Is there a box of tiny warriors and orcs you've painted that you're hiding somewhere?
  20. 20.
    WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
    You haven't answered a single one of my questions.
  21. 21.
    Tell the truth, were there any girls in that movie?
  22. 22.
    Why are you trying to touch me right now?
    I've never been less turned on.
  23. 23.
    What was that movie even called?
    Ugh, I can't believe people spent money to make that! It wasn't even tongue-in-cheek like Trekkies.
  24. 24.
    ENTER THE BATTLEFIELD!?!?
    With cards. That have magic powers. I can't.