Things I Pretend Not To Notice
- •When my 2 year old wakes up in the morning.If I lie here really still, maybe my husband or my six year old will get her out of her crib.
- •The sticker on the back of your shirt that says "SAUSAGE"You seemed like a sweet young girl and we don't know each other. Maybe that's what college girls are into?
- •When any of my kids spit food out of their mouths back onto their plates.Yes, I should be working on manners with them, but it's so gross that I don't even want to talk about it.
- •When someone I like is wearing socks with sandals.However, if you're someone I love, OH WE WILL BE HAVING A CONVERSATION.
- •Your kid throwing a crazy wild fit.You got this! I'll leave you to it. But, if we do make eye contact, I promise to smile compassionately.
- •Someone ringing my doorbellI'M NOT HERE!
- •Those porny gifs & vids that pop up in my Facebook feed because you "liked" them, even though you have a girlfriend.Ew