Places I'd send my worst enemies
- •A bakery where everything they sell doesn't live up to how delicious it looksWasted money and wasted calories
- •A 20+ hour flight on Ryan AirBonus is they sit next to the crying baby in seat C36
- •A table reading of the screenplay for the 2016 presidential electionThey have to narrate
- •Any and all youth talent pageants or competitionsPreferably as a judge, so that they have to deal with the backlash the delusional parents who think Suzy has the voice of an angel, when in fact her voice sounds like a perpetual car tire screech. Sorry, Suzy.
- •In a car, in traffic, and behind a pedal pub going to the exact same destination as themI kind of feel bad about this one.
- •Nuclear bunker fully equipped for the apocalypse that never cameYou make them think they're lucky they survived something terrible and then BAM they realize they've just wasted years as a mole person eating canned bread.
- •The middle of a twitter war between two parody accountsNot a specific place, but I'll count it as a state of being, and the notifications keep coming
- •An IHOP on Sunday morning in a suburban, evangelical communityGood luck getting your pancakes in a timely manner, and remember, it's a sin not to tip.
- •In a room with meI'm assuming the dislike is mutual and am fully prepared to win the glaring contest that will follow