REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS MY CHILDREN FIGHT OVER

At ages 3 and 2 respectively, my kids have very logical priorities and make super mature decisions. These are some of the battles they have chosen.
  1. An imaginary piece of cake
    My daughter "made" me a piece of chocolate cake in her play kitchen. As she was serving it, my son ran up and pretended to stuff the whole cake in his mouth. Obviously, my daughter just lost it. She threw her plate across the room and full on tackled him yelling, "Give that cake back!!" He shouted, "Can't give back! Cake IN MY BELLY!!" as he bush crawled across the room. Meanwhile I'm standing on the couch trying to stop the madness by yelling, "The cake is a lie!! The cake is a lie!"
  2. THIS yellow fishing pole
    Not THAT yellow fishing pole, which is exactly the same in every way.
  3. Who gets to be the line leader
    We have a set of four stairs that leads from our playroom to our bedroom. Apparently the first person who reaches the top of these stairs is showered with presents and candy, while all subsequent climbers are garbage people.