FIVE THINGS KATE MIDDLETON SECRETLY WHISPERS TO HERSELF

  1. "This wig really itches."
  2. "I will stuff that corgi and hang it over my mantel."
  3. "You're all inbred, you know. Yes. Even you."
  4. "Just once, I want to swallow the champagne. Just once."
  5. "For god's sake, she's a baby. Who cares if she wears sequins?"
  6. "I did it, Mummy. I'm a princess!"
    Suggested by   @jhenifer
  7. "If they only knew how much Spanx I'm wearing. If they only knew!"
    Suggested by   @jhenifer
  8. "Wouldn't it be delicious to write into the St Andrews alumni magazine to tell them what I've been up to? HA."
    Suggested by   @jhenifer
  9. "Who do I have to behead to get tickets to Hamilton?"
  10. "I deserve all of this."
    Suggested by   @jhenifer
  11. "I'm going to sleep on a pile of jewels and money tonight."
    Suggested by   @jhenifer
  12. "Harry being the one to keep his hair seems a little too on the nose, yeah?"
  13. *unintelligible incantations that keep up all the powerful spells she has cast*
    Suggested by   @jhenifer