WEIRD THINGS I CALL MY CAT

His name is Tony Curtis. He's seven months old and I promise I love him. Don't ask me where I come up with these, I'm clearly insane.
  1. My little man
  2. My little poop-monster
    Seriously though. You have no idea how much poop comes out of this tiny creature.
  3. My little vanilla milkshake
    I sometimes elaborate on this one by singing Kelis' "Milkshake" while cradling him like a baby human until he squirms out of my arms and runs away from me.
  4. My furry little pot roast
    This one is often accompanied by threats of shaving him, putting him in the oven, and having him for dinner.
  5. Cat-faced hellspawn
    See bullet #2
  6. Fat little cherub cat
    As in "Who's a fat little cherub cat? Are you the fat little cherub cat? I think you are. I think you're a fat little cherub cat."
  7. Tony Baloney
    Bologna?
  8. Rastus
    I get this from my dad. He's from the backwoods of West Virginia; It's something he calls all small animals, I have no idea what it means and I'm scared to google it.
  9. Mr. Curtis
    Because sometimes he deserves just a modicum of respect.
  10. Stinky Butt
    No description necessary