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So you've had a Fuck Palace for a few months, and the frisson has started to wear off a little. You went all in and took that initial dick dive into the heated, below-ground pool of genital secretions, and now you're filled with something that's not even phallic. No - it's regret. Even the couch cushions seem soaked in melancholy.
- •Devote yourself to the greater world, something outside yourself. Experts say that helping others makes you happier. So maybe drain one of those syphilitic hot tubs and use it to nurture orphaned waterfowl.
- •Find satisfaction by mastering something - not someone. Psychologists have found that focusing on mastery can induce a zen-like state known as 'flow'. Your dungeon has so much space, why not convert it and learn to tickle the ivories, or contact juggling?
- •Understand that life is a hedonic treadmill - without conscious effort, you'll always adapt to anything that's new and shiny... and always lust for something more. This is how your humble Fuck Shack becomes a Fuck Palace, and yet you're no happier than before.
Federer has participated in an astonishing 65 consecutive Grand Slams, stretching back to 1999
- •Both George W Bush and Barack Obama were elected to two terms as President of the United States
- •My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was conceived, launched, and achieved worldwide renown, rapidly becoming the most critically acclaimed show on TV
- •Twilight Sparkle arrived in Ponyville and reverted Nightmare Moon back into Princess Luna
- •Dairy Queen
- •Matinee screening of There Will Be Blood
- •The location you entered in the Uber app
Some of these came from Garfunkel, though.
- •Publicly bang her aunt, Grant
- •Plan her totally accidental death, Seth
- •Attach a note to the collar of her indoor-outdoor cat, Matt
- •Cleveland BrownLinked to increased depression and suicide rates.
- •Lead GreyWatery, Flinty color. Kids loved it.
- •Wedding RedTest results were Starkly bad.
- •Cat Drogo
- •Litter flinger
- •Brynden Blackfishbreath
Embark on a flesh journey.
- •Gristle gondola
- •Tuna taxicab
- •Salami Sailboat
- •The Boxcar to Bonefield
- •The Ballast Tamper to Anal Park
- •The Railgrinder to Fuckville