My 4 Worst Diarrhea Attacks
- 1.On an Amtrak trainPicture this: me, 13, shitting my heart out on a Northeast regional, when the train hits a curve and BOOM the door slides open because I didn't lock it right. Cue me penguin shuffling to close it, making eye contact with a woman waiting outside. She was gone when I came out.
- 2.On the subwayThis happened recently. It was during my morning commute on the J from BK to Manhattan when our train stalled on the Willy B. Cue the stomach cramps and oh boy was I sweating. And possibly crying. I actually made it to my stop but had to stop in a cafe and drop a bomb. I still can't walk by that place without feeling guilty.
- 3.Every college party. Ever.If you don't get the liquor shits YOU'RE LYING
- 4.On the side of the road in Bumblefuck, N.C.It was the summer I drank my first Monster, which turned out to be my last when not even 30 minutes later I was crying in the back of my parents car as we were on our 8 hour journey to the Outer Banks. There were no gas stations, no civilization, nothing. So yes, I climbed a hill into the woods, may or may not have started a forest fire, and then came out a woman.
- 5.I'm taking a chance with this list. Thank you.