Reasons why my dog Eddie is an asshole (aka how I failed by not properly training my dog)

Don't get me wrong, I love him like my child. My children can be assholes too 😜
  1. The second I put out the patio furniture cushions he jumps up on them like I've put them out for him (notice his brother Ringo is perfectly assumed in his proper dog place)
  2. He licks everyone in the face, even cute little babies
  3. The second I lay down freshly laundered clothes or bed sheets he jumps up and lays on them
  4. My daughter woke up this morning vomiting all over her bed. Eddie thought it was his breakfast. Yuck!
  5. When he wants to go outside he takes it upon himself to open up the patio screen door and lets himself out, leaving the door open and inviting flies in
  6. He's up my butt beginning for a walk and then not even halfway through our normal route he starts pulling like he wants to go home. We get home and he starts pestering again
  7. If we leave food on the table or on the kitchen counter he will jump up and get it (he's mixed with Italian greyhound so has long, jumping legs)