Things I've Cried About in the Past Week

  1. "The Fault In Our Stars" trailer
    EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I've seen the movie and read the book, I know what's going to happen, and still.
  2. The movie "Towelhead"
    Technically didn't cry, but screamed internally for 120 minutes.
  3. The news that Indiana politicians are trying to pass a bill making it illegal for trans folks to use the bathroom they feel safest in.
    These cis white dudes are the fucking worst.
  4. Reading a letter my grandma wrote me shortly before she passed away from pancreatic cancer
    In it, she told me that my poems sounded like I was sad sometimes, and that she wished she could hug me whenever she wanted and watch me transition into adulthood. She also wrote that I should let go of my friends who had "big" problems, because they needed someone in their lives who had more "wisdom and professional experience" than I had. I was 16 at the time.
  5. Feeling guilty that I've been in such a crappy mood for the past week
    I only get to visit my fam once or twice a year, so I feel a lot of pressure to make sure each visit is the best one yet. I just couldn't get it together to do that this year, and I feel like shit about it. I'm trying to accept that there will be good visits and not-the-best visits, and that's okay.
  6. Realizing that as early as junior high, I was reading stress management books and trying to learn meditation and relaxation techniques
    Technically didn't cry about this, but felt a profound sense of validation and "everything about myself makes sense now." And also sadness for my junior high self, because...damn.
  7. Thinking about death in general.
    Also feeling strongly that anyone I love could die at any time. And I could die at any time. That's always a pick-me-up around the holidays, eh? 🎉🎉🎉