Things I've Cried About in the Past Week
- •"The Fault In Our Stars" trailerEVERY. DAMN. TIME. I've seen the movie and read the book, I know what's going to happen, and still.
- •The movie "Towelhead"Technically didn't cry, but screamed internally for 120 minutes.
- •The news that Indiana politicians are trying to pass a bill making it illegal for trans folks to use the bathroom they feel safest in.These cis white dudes are the fucking worst.
- •Reading a letter my grandma wrote me shortly before she passed away from pancreatic cancerIn it, she told me that my poems sounded like I was sad sometimes, and that she wished she could hug me whenever she wanted and watch me transition into adulthood. She also wrote that I should let go of my friends who had "big" problems, because they needed someone in their lives who had more "wisdom and professional experience" than I had. I was 16 at the time.
- •Feeling guilty that I've been in such a crappy mood for the past weekI only get to visit my fam once or twice a year, so I feel a lot of pressure to make sure each visit is the best one yet. I just couldn't get it together to do that this year, and I feel like shit about it. I'm trying to accept that there will be good visits and not-the-best visits, and that's okay.
- •Realizing that as early as junior high, I was reading stress management books and trying to learn meditation and relaxation techniquesTechnically didn't cry about this, but felt a profound sense of validation and "everything about myself makes sense now." And also sadness for my junior high self, because...damn.
- •Thinking about death in general.Also feeling strongly that anyone I love could die at any time. And I could die at any time. That's always a pick-me-up around the holidays, eh? 🎉🎉🎉