I've never been one of those people who fantasizes about weddings, which makes being engaged & wedding planning overwhelming. Toss in a distinct discomfort with & resistance to patriarchal & sexist traditions & you'll find me on Pinterest with a stress migraine.
  1. Beach wedding.
    This is the only wedding fantasy I had as a teen. I only knew I wanted to get married on a beach. No other details, like dress, floral arrangements, color themes. None o' that shit. Just a beach. Case closed.
  2. Baseball stadium wedding.
    Which stadium, you ask? Why, Busch Stadium, of course. (Go Cards!) I'm mostly kidding about this one, but how lovely is the symbolism of getting married to your one and only on home plate? The poet in me gets misty eyed every time I think about it. I also recognize how ridiculous this idea is.
  3. Rustic wedding.
    For those of you who don't make it your business to search for wedding garbage on Pinterest, a rustic wedding is one that takes place in, near, or in front of a barn. Everything is made to look aged and antique, and it's all very sweet and a little bit hippie. I only envision this one occasionally because I live in the Midwest, so barns are 90% of our venue choices.
  4. Courthouse wedding.
    I think of this one on overwhelming days. Fuck all the noise of ceremonies and receptions and guest lists and flowers and center pieces and wedding dresses and blah blah blah. I love the idea of just me, my guy, and a few of our dearest friends making a day of it at the courthouse and then going out for dinner, drinks and dancing after.
  5. Vegas wedding.
    Despite growing up in Nevada, I've never actually been to Vegas. (I have flown into the airport though, & felt mild panic as I escalatored down to baggage claim & felt like I was descending into a neon gambling hell w/ Criss Angel as overlord.) Anyway, the appeal is that we get a package deal somewhere fancy-ish so I don't have to worry about details. And then, for after the celebrations, there's something for everyone: hiking, throwing $$ away, Britney Spears, karaoke, dancing, etc.
  6. What we will probably actually do:
    I have no idea, but it will probably be a bit fancier than a courthouse wedding, but still low key. The ceremony will probably be outside, there will be some awkward moments between our families, my best friend in the whole damn world will fly in from Japan, and we will be able to celebrate with all our loved ones. Also, I will probably have two dresses, and at least one of them will be red. 💃🏽