Trump might have ruined my week but he won't dampen my Christmas spirit DAMMIT. (Keeping it short and only doing my top 5)
  1. THE REF (1994)
    Honestly my favorite Christmas movie. I quote it year round.
  2. "You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a fucking truck. "You don't have the balls."
  3. "What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice and patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding."
  4. "Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear."
  5. "Mom, the TV's broken. What are we gonna do all night?" "Celebrate the birth of Christ!"
  6. "Is it real coffee? Or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?"
  7. "Mary, gag your grandma."
  8. BAD SANTA (2003)
  9. "Ass clown."
  10. "Good night, Santa. Good night, Mrs. Santa's sister."
  11. "Now I don't want an elephant at all. I want a gorilla named Davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear. And he can take his orders from the talking walnut, so it won't be my bad thing."
  12. "She lives in God's house; with Jesus and Mary and the ghost and the long eared donkey and the talking walnut."
  13. MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET (1947)
  14. "Sometimes I wish I married a butcher or a plumber." "My dear, if I lose this hearing, you may very well get your wish."
  15. "Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing."
  16. "Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles."
  18. "We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye."
  19. "...and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
  20. "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."
  21. "You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant."
  22. "He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas." "If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas."
  23. A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983)
  24. "My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years."
  25. "You used up all the glue on purpose!"
  26. "I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed."
  27. "Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl."
  28. "In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
    "Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."