THINGS I CAN'T DO AS AN ADULT

A quick and easy li.st to get me back in the swing of things. Retail during the holidays is a bitch.
  1. PUT MY LEG BEHIND HEAD
    I used to be able to do this. A sad reminder of my old age and declining flexibility. A moment of silence please.
  2. SWING AROUND THE TETHER BALL POLE PRETENDING TO BE ESMERELDA FROM DISNEY'S HUNCHBACK
    A thing I used to do as a kid, but now I look like a stripper I guess? (Not a knock on strippers of course! I'm a big do what you gotta/wanna do person!)
  3. PLAY WITH THE LEAP FROG TOYS AT TARGET
    Aside from the fact that I'd be in the way of younger kids that actually want to play with them, I work at Target so if I get caught playing, it's not just be an employee but a co-worker. Embarrassing.
  4. STAY UP LATE TO CATCH SANTA
    Who CARES about catching the man in red when I just worked an 8 hour shift? I'm tired.
  5. HOLD A BAG WITH EGGS
    There's a story behind this. I'll write that out later if y'all want (let me know!). But I can't hold a carton of eggs/ bag with a carton of eggs in it.