REASONS NO MAN WILL EVER WANT TO SHARE A BED WITH ME

I've slept alone for so long now, and become such a creature of habit. I don't think any sane man would put up with these things!
  1. β€’
    I have approximately 37 pillows on my bed - and yes, one of them is a body pillow πŸ›Œ
  2. β€’
    I wear Breathe Right nasal strips πŸ‘ƒπŸ»all winter long.
  3. β€’
    I use Vicks Vapo Rub every night
  4. β€’
    And throat spray
  5. β€’
    I diffuse a lavender blend
  6. β€’
    And spray lavender on my pillow πŸ’€
  7. β€’
    I diffuse a lavender Oil blend
  8. β€’
    I sleep with the TV on πŸ“Ί
  9. β€’
    I steal blankets
  10. β€’
    4 AM weekend wake ups for work ⏰
  11. β€’
    I can't sleep with the flat sheet, I get tangled. This is non-negotiable
  12. β€’
    Sometimes I sleep with an eye mask
  13. β€’
    Did I work out today? Then I most likely smell like Deep Blue rub, or Bio-Freeze 🚴🏻
  14. β€’
    I'm an insomniac