What I Wanted to Be Growing Up, Chronologically

  1. Ages 5-7: a teacher
  2. Ages 7-12: Director of teen group on Celebrity Cruise Ships
  3. Ages 12-15: A college volleyball coach
  4. Ages 15-21: "I don't know" followed by tears & ensued panic
  5. Age 21-current: Writing tweets & getting paid/laid minus the laid