Things I Believed When I Was a Child

Kids are idiots
  1. Every night when my dad came home from work he emptied the change from his pockets into a dish on the counter. I thought that was how much money he made everyday. This worried me since i earned significantly more at my lemonade stand. Would I have to become the breadwinner?
  2. I believed that my neighbor was an alien with hotdog eyes. This was somewhat of a long con on my friend's part as she was constantly feeding me detailed stories about his secret alien life. I was the perfect, gullible victim. Tbh I didn't stand a chance
  3. I was terrified of cats when I was little because I thought that they could read my mind. Whenever I was around one I would think to myself "I love cats, I love cats" in a bid to trick them into thinking I liked them/plz don't attack me
  4. I grew up in the south and we always called our friends' moms by their first names (ie: Ms Karen) instead of by last name. My kindergarten teacher's name was "Ms Kring" and I remember when she got engaged that I imagined her fiancé saying "Kring, will you marry me?"