An Imaginary Conversation I Just Had With a Man on the Plane, Except His Side Is Real

  1. "Believe it or not, I like Carly Fiorina."
    "I'd like to think this is unbelievable because you're traditionally in favor of big government, but I have a feeling it's gonna be a woman thing."
  2. "She'll kick ass and take names, I'll tell you that. As long as she has a strong male running mate..."
    "There it is."
  3. "... Like Ted Cruz."
    "Oh, boy."
  4. "Everything he says is right."
    "First of all, that's a little on the nose--"
  5. "But in any case, I'm sending money to all of 'em. Every single one of 'em."
    "I get it. Ideally a year from now America is littered with Vote Fiorina/Strong Man Mr. Right Cruz 2016 signs, but you can't be too careful."
  6. "Ted Cruz--Ted Cruz--Ted Cruz--"
    "Are you trying to start a chant, or?"
  7. "Polly, will you quit interrupting me?"
    "Christ, Polly, shut your mouth and go fix this man some food. You know what, I'm a woman too, I'll join you."
  8. "Ted Cruz--is a Texan."
    "Preach. We're back on track, no thanks to Polly."
  9. "We get eight years of Hillary Clinton, it's all over."
    "I don't know about that. Right now it feels I'll be sitting here on this plane next to you forever regardless of who wins. May I have one of the two vodkas in front of you?"
  10. "We gotta get the Democrats out. Even if we have to bust 'em out, you know what I mean?"
    "I don't, but I bet an air marshal is giving it some thought right now."
  11. "Oh well. It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring."
    "I knew we'd find common ground."