1. The sweatpants you believe cost you two relationships (but that you now realize were worth more than both put together)
  2. The Umbros that magically fit you for 12+ years but blocked you from seeing yourself as a grown woman
  3. Some insanely proportioned Jeffrey Campbell boots that you never had anywhere to wear until just now, when you were invited to an event that strictly involves sitting down with tastemakers
  4. A mini-backpack your mother in law had embroidered with your "new initials" though you didn't change your name, and is demanding to see again
  5. The jeans you decided you wouldn't need because you were getting Dave Zinczenko's new diet book
  6. Dave Zinczenko's new diet book