Dispatches From the World's Most Passive Aggressive Sephora

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" -- Kelly Clarkson
  1. "Tell me about what's going on with the eyebrows." -- an associate. I was asking where a certain bronzer was.
  2. "Do you use moisturizer? On your face?" -- same associate. this time I wasn't asking anything.
  3. "She doesn't know what lipliner is!" -- a mother sacrificing her teenage daughter to the sephoral goblins to keep them from turning on her
  4. "So what was the thought process behind this choice?" -- a second associate, looking at the blush in my hand
  5. "Are you a new mom? I had a feeling!" -- associate #1
  6. "Taylor Swift ruined saturated reds for everyone." -- associate #2
  7. "It smells amazing in here." -- random sociopath or alien