Girls I Tried and Ultimately Failed to Be

  1. Flatironed hair girl
    Spent most of high school George Foreman grilling my curls into submission
  2. Hemp necklace girl
    I really apologize
  3. Ribbon belt/Pastel polo/headband girl
    Come off it college freshman Megan you grew up in a town where schools are closed on the first day of buck season
  4. Girl with a campus radio show
    I'm sure no one else has ever called her radio show Lost in the Shuffle though. Supremely original
  5. Heels every day girl
    Wouldn't know this version of myself on the street
  6. Girl who only wears vintage
    It's all fun and games until you have a closet full of slips from 1971 and an interview in three hours
  7. "A Carrie"
    Wake up Carrie sucks!
  8. Hey girl hey girl
    Felt like a monster