How to Handle Drunk Guilt
- •1. Try to appreciate it. Remind yourself that guilt is a good thing because it means you're not a sociopath.
- •2. Eat something. By the time you're done chewing, whatever you think it is you did last night will have fallen from "there is no humanity" to "humanity could use a tune up, but it does exist."
- •3. Consider your drunk guilt track record. Do you feel this way every time you wake up after a night out no matter what you did? You might not be in such bad trouble. Perhaps you're Catholic.
- •4. Call the friend of yours who is most likely to give it to you straight and least likely to up-play it. Does the friend you're thinking of use the phrase "epic night," often in combination with a hashtag? That's not the right friend.
- •5. Apologize if what happened was memorable and eligible to be remembered by those who witnessed it.
- •6. Comfort yourself with a story of someone doing something worse than you did. At one friend's wedding I scribbled an incoherent message over a full page of the guestbook and woke up to people standing around it in a circle, laughing.
- •7. Know when to stop talking about it.